Firstly I will admit that this is not my original idea... I spotted this on another forum with a more military orientation that I frequent the details and whereabouts of which I will not go into due to the genteel nature of the personages on this forum as some of the language is a bit robust  .
To quote directly from the afformentioned forum Wiki
The Emperor Mong
Malevolent cosmic being directly responsible for the World's ills and for those (in retrospect) idiotic decisions we've all made from time to time
Here are a few gems that The Emperor has wispered in some other minions ears just to get us started
- "Go on, one more beer won't hurt"
- "Of course, she thinks you are irresistible"
- "Don't worry about that noise, Its only the engine, It'll go away, turn the stereo up"
- "Don't bother stopping to tighten your laces, you're in far too much of a hurry"
- "It's only a fart, let it out"
- "That concrete is definatly set. And even if it isn't set it certainly isn't three feet deep"
- "Of course it is the right connector. What makes you think there could be another type??"
- "whats that Darth? an exhaust port on the Death Star, ah go on, nothing to worry about my son, no-one will ever find out about it!"
Of course I am one of the Emperor's most ardent servants and I am known to give him my rapt attention and to act on his advice from time to time so here are a few from myself.
- "No need to stop here minion... there's more than enough petrol in the tank to get you to the next filling station"
- "No need to check whether there is a ceiling beam pitiful fool! Stop being such a wimp and just cut the hole for the ceiling speaker"
And my personal favorite
- "Of course the kit will have been shipped to site, verily doth I say that there is no need to call upon your suppliers yet again and check for the fifth time as both they and the couriers are the most loyal and trustworthy of my servants throughout this fiefdom. Yea I deem it that thee shall walk onto site and install and commision everything like a streak of lightning and thy shalt be looked upon as a hero by thine client and gilt with laurels and heaped with applause for I too number you as one of my most attentive minions"
The lying B.....d!
So lets have it then name and shame your own personal Emperors whispers 
Last edited on Thursday May 29th, 2008 04:34 pm by Muttley
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